this is what i don't like about myself. i keep telling myself that i will update this blog regularly, at least once a month. the plan didn't work though. the thing is, i have no idea what to write, i lack of inspiration and aspiration. what to write? what to say? how to say? write about what happened maybe? or uhm maybe write about confessions? yeah maybe that's a good idea because i doubt anyone is reading my blog so it is a good place to share some tinee wenee little secret :p
talking about what happened, nothing interesting happened recently. oh there's one, mama bought me a DSLR! it's a Canon Eos 1100D. oh i'm to lazy to upload the pictures i've taken with. the camera is my baby. and it's freaking red. i'm not bragging but how cool is that? i'm so happy like akdglalgjalkjdl when holding that camera for the first time. i'll upload more pictures later when i'm free-er lol. but srsly, that's the best thing i ever had. my dream to have my own dslr came true. all thanks to Allah. Syukur Alhamdulillah, without Him, i can never have my own camera. so that's that for now. i'll update more soon. i hope.
This is the place where i pour my heart out. This blog is no more than my thoughts and feelings about people, myself, the world.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Still thinking what's the right title for this post
It was three days ago, that she knew the surprising news. Very surprising actually. The matter had never crossed her mind before. Not even in a second. Never.
It was overall a great day for her, well, almost a day. Her day starts with a smile. Somebody, a random person she doesn't even know told her that she's beautiful. That really made her day. And then, just another 2 hours before the day ends, she's informed of the matter.
As usual, just before she goes to sleep, she'll text with someone she knew from her old school while lying on her bed and reading a book. That night, she's reading It by Stephen King. The book is thick, with a total of 1000+ pages. She's on the chapter where there's a kid, a 10 yr old boy was missing. His brother was dead because of child abuse by his step-father. And then another kid, taking a walk to the park on an early morning, found the missing boy, slaughtered, bloody, and headless. When she had enough of it, she'll put it down at the side of her pillow and go to sleep. But she's not feeling sleepy yet.
That was when her old school friend told her that matter.
He likes her.
4 years he's been keeping that secret to himself. Nobody even knew that matter. Not a single one of his friends knew. And then that night, he finally confess his feelings towards her. She was very surprised. She thought he was joking, just to make her feel like a fool, thinking that someone would actually likes her for that long.
But he's not. He's serious. And actually that was the first time that he confess to a girl. His best friend, used to like her too. On the old days where they're still young, she used to know that he likes her friend in the same class as her. So that's why she doesn't suspect anything. Nobody does.
But the girl he likes back then was not a real like. It was just as if he was encouraged from his friends to like that girl. Because they look good together. But he doesn't actually.
Luckily after he confess his feelings, he never asked her what's her feelings towards him. She knew it must have been a torture to him, to keep that secret for so long. Maybe not long for other people, but it is to her. She knew that he was relieved after he finally gain all the courage to confess. She knew that for him, he need not to know what's her feelings towards him.
For him, what's done is done. No turning back.
If he were to ask her that question someday, she will say that he's just a friend, who's been so caring for her all this while, and a supporting one too. No more, no less. She hopes that he'll understand this and has no hard feelings towards her.
But the questions was never asked, so it remained unanswered.
So here she is, still texting to him as if nothing had happened three days ago. She loves it how they still can chat as usual, still joking with lame jokes, still talking about random things. She knew very well if they do meet each other face to face, it would've been really awkward. Really awkward.
It was overall a great day for her, well, almost a day. Her day starts with a smile. Somebody, a random person she doesn't even know told her that she's beautiful. That really made her day. And then, just another 2 hours before the day ends, she's informed of the matter.
As usual, just before she goes to sleep, she'll text with someone she knew from her old school while lying on her bed and reading a book. That night, she's reading It by Stephen King. The book is thick, with a total of 1000+ pages. She's on the chapter where there's a kid, a 10 yr old boy was missing. His brother was dead because of child abuse by his step-father. And then another kid, taking a walk to the park on an early morning, found the missing boy, slaughtered, bloody, and headless. When she had enough of it, she'll put it down at the side of her pillow and go to sleep. But she's not feeling sleepy yet.
That was when her old school friend told her that matter.
He likes her.
4 years he's been keeping that secret to himself. Nobody even knew that matter. Not a single one of his friends knew. And then that night, he finally confess his feelings towards her. She was very surprised. She thought he was joking, just to make her feel like a fool, thinking that someone would actually likes her for that long.
But he's not. He's serious. And actually that was the first time that he confess to a girl. His best friend, used to like her too. On the old days where they're still young, she used to know that he likes her friend in the same class as her. So that's why she doesn't suspect anything. Nobody does.
But the girl he likes back then was not a real like. It was just as if he was encouraged from his friends to like that girl. Because they look good together. But he doesn't actually.
Luckily after he confess his feelings, he never asked her what's her feelings towards him. She knew it must have been a torture to him, to keep that secret for so long. Maybe not long for other people, but it is to her. She knew that he was relieved after he finally gain all the courage to confess. She knew that for him, he need not to know what's her feelings towards him.
For him, what's done is done. No turning back.
If he were to ask her that question someday, she will say that he's just a friend, who's been so caring for her all this while, and a supporting one too. No more, no less. She hopes that he'll understand this and has no hard feelings towards her.
But the questions was never asked, so it remained unanswered.
So here she is, still texting to him as if nothing had happened three days ago. She loves it how they still can chat as usual, still joking with lame jokes, still talking about random things. She knew very well if they do meet each other face to face, it would've been really awkward. Really awkward.
Friday, November 11, 2011
11.11.11
Get your wishes ready, because you won't see that date for the rest of your life. School is officially over for 2011 today.
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| syasha with her amazing smile :) |
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| me with a cute white bear. |
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| the weasleys. |
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| malay girls. |
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| lol. srsly guys, you need a REAL table. |
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| manda and ade :) |
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| Ah-mahn-dahh |
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| ze cat at our school. ps: it's cat daddy's wife. XD |
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| the class after we cleaned it. So get your gears up, next year's gonna be hectic! |
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha
It is the 6th of November 2011, 10 Zulhijjah 1432H according to the Islamic calendar. And today is Hari Raya Aidiladha. Nothing much, woke up at 5.10 a.m. this morning for the morning prayer then sleep back again, woke up at 7 a.m. Abah and Iman (younger brother) went to the mosque, Masjid Nurussyakirin for the raya prayer. Then me and Mama are getting ready and wait for them to come home from the mosque. At about 8.30 a.m., they came home and then we're off to my paternal grandparent's house (the one in Sri Taman, two lots away from Jay's house and opposite to my teacher's house, Mdm. Petronella) After an hour or two, we're off again and went to my maternal grandparent's house this time. There's lotsa food to eat! Beef curry, mixed vegetables, honey-cooked chicken, chicken satay, and not to forget, ketupat! My favourite was the honey-cooked chicken. Yum yum!
Hmm, talking bout 6th of November, i suddenly remember that syasha's birthday is in 10 more days! She said she's gonna held a party, nah, not really a party, just a small gathering with some food to eat and some things to do with small number of friends. I like it though. Can't wait for it. I miss my friends so much. I'm not used to big parties, it makes me nervous.
About the job I'm talking about, yes, the one i got so excited about until i'm stuck in the cyber cafe waiting for the rain to stop because i don't have an umbrella. Yep, that one, there's a good news, and a bad news. The good news is; I'm hired! They accept me to work there! The bad news is; unfortunately, I have to reject the offer. After I told mama I'm gonna work there, she starts to talk about problems i'm gonna face if I work there. The salary is not bad, RM350 for a month and all I have to do is stack some products on the rack. But the thing is, I have to work 7 days a week, from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. So it's like there's no Sundays for me. And mama said if I work there, first; I won't be able to go shopping or go somewhere with my family, second; i won't have time to hang out with my friends during the hollies, such as syasha's party, third; there's lots more things I won't be able to do, I can't quite explain it, but the main thing is, it's just not the right time for me to work. So I guess I'll have to wait until it's the right time.
Hmm, talking bout 6th of November, i suddenly remember that syasha's birthday is in 10 more days! She said she's gonna held a party, nah, not really a party, just a small gathering with some food to eat and some things to do with small number of friends. I like it though. Can't wait for it. I miss my friends so much. I'm not used to big parties, it makes me nervous.
About the job I'm talking about, yes, the one i got so excited about until i'm stuck in the cyber cafe waiting for the rain to stop because i don't have an umbrella. Yep, that one, there's a good news, and a bad news. The good news is; I'm hired! They accept me to work there! The bad news is; unfortunately, I have to reject the offer. After I told mama I'm gonna work there, she starts to talk about problems i'm gonna face if I work there. The salary is not bad, RM350 for a month and all I have to do is stack some products on the rack. But the thing is, I have to work 7 days a week, from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. So it's like there's no Sundays for me. And mama said if I work there, first; I won't be able to go shopping or go somewhere with my family, second; i won't have time to hang out with my friends during the hollies, such as syasha's party, third; there's lots more things I won't be able to do, I can't quite explain it, but the main thing is, it's just not the right time for me to work. So I guess I'll have to wait until it's the right time.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Next time I'll be braver, I'll be my own savior.
Currently listening to Adele-Turning Tables
I wish I can sing this song out loud but meh, I'm in the cyber cafe now. Everyone will think I'm weird. The reason why I'm here is because I'm waiting the clock to tick until it's 4.30 p.m. Grandma went to Happy Mart just now and came home telling me that they need a worker to stack some products on the rack. I can do that, I said. And granny asked me to go the mart again by 3 p.m and meet the person in charge But when I arrived, the man in charge is not there and one of the workers, a small one, came telling me that he'll be here by 4.30. So I end up here, in the cyber cafe. And it's raining heavily outside (with thunders and lightnings) and I got no umbrella and my phone can't hear voices through the other side of the phone so I can't call me granny. *sigh* My luck. Now I understand how hard it is to find a job. Crossing my fingers and I pray for the best. Hopefully my waiting is worth it.
Syasha sent a message to me on tumblr saying that she's so proud of me and that I must keep up my marvelous work. I will, ca, don't worry. As long as ipah's here, she'll try her best to do everything at its best. Well at least that made my day.
I wish I can sing this song out loud but meh, I'm in the cyber cafe now. Everyone will think I'm weird. The reason why I'm here is because I'm waiting the clock to tick until it's 4.30 p.m. Grandma went to Happy Mart just now and came home telling me that they need a worker to stack some products on the rack. I can do that, I said. And granny asked me to go the mart again by 3 p.m and meet the person in charge But when I arrived, the man in charge is not there and one of the workers, a small one, came telling me that he'll be here by 4.30. So I end up here, in the cyber cafe. And it's raining heavily outside (with thunders and lightnings) and I got no umbrella and my phone can't hear voices through the other side of the phone so I can't call me granny. *sigh* My luck. Now I understand how hard it is to find a job. Crossing my fingers and I pray for the best. Hopefully my waiting is worth it.
Syasha sent a message to me on tumblr saying that she's so proud of me and that I must keep up my marvelous work. I will, ca, don't worry. As long as ipah's here, she'll try her best to do everything at its best. Well at least that made my day.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Holiday starts. (Not really, I got one more day to go)
I've changed my blog's layout and title and I have to say, i'm quite happy with it. Not as crappy as before. I hope now I'll be able to update my blog regularly. I'm planning to get a work during the holidays. I saw this pet shop near my housing area with a vacancy.. I can't quite say it's a pet shop since it doesn't sell cats and dogs. Just some small aquarium fish and rabbits and mice and turtles. A dull shop. You can smell the odor of the animals inside the shop. So since I like animals, I want to work there to fill up my free time during the holidays and to earn some extra money. But I guess i'm out of my luck. I asked my grandma to come with me and help me to ask the owner if he wants to accept a 15 year old girl to work there. No, sorry. That's what he said.
My father is asking me what am I gonna do during the hollies. I said I don't plan anything yet. I know he can't stand to see me doing nothing the whole day. At least I must do 'something' productive. And I'm still thinking what that 'something' would be.
My father is asking me what am I gonna do during the hollies. I said I don't plan anything yet. I know he can't stand to see me doing nothing the whole day. At least I must do 'something' productive. And I'm still thinking what that 'something' would be.
"I always love browsing thorough your blog because it's calm and simple to me. It's like the beauty of life all captured in photos, placed together in a never-ending album of your personal taste. <3 Superman"
He said that to me. He praised my blog, not this blog, because I know whatever I post here is crappy lol. My other blog. My tumblr. Interesting personality, that man. He's a Vietnamese if i'm not mistaken. Isn't it nice? to have someone to praise your blog like that? I'm touched. Little did I know that there's actually someone who appreciate and adores my blog.
I wish sometimes I can write stories better. Describing all the little, unnoticed and complex things. I'm good when making stories in my head, little dialogues would occupy my mind when I'm alone. But not when people are around. When I'm with people, it's like the little voices in my head are hiding, letting me go to get back to the reality again. But maybe it's just because expressing thoughts and feelings in words is not my strength. I'm better when I'm talking, telling all the little details, I sure can do it alright. I prefer talking although at some cases I need to write to express things I can't describe. Anyways, I think that's all for now. Until next time, love, ipah.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
In a Blogging Mood
i'm intending to make a new blog. a fresh start. so that it wouldn't be so dusty and cobwebbed like this one. or just a make over. change the theme, my picture, my post.. okay, i'll decide it later. so i'm gonna start my story, just now mama asked me to watch over the fish she grilled for my cats because she's gonna go upstairs to iron my lil brother's clothes. i'm not really sure what she said but i simply say "okay ma." oh and i'm on the internet at the moment. after sometimes, mama came down and go to the kitchen. yes, you know what happened. the fish that should-not-be-over-grilled got over-grilled. mama's mad at me because i'm not doing what she asked me too. she said "i asked you to watch over the fish. turn off the fire if the fish is cooked." luckily the fish is not too bad after all. just a little burnt, if you ask me.
my auntie from australia came to sandakan this year to celebrate hari raya with her family. she came to my house yesterday and she has a cute little 4 year old daughter named ayu. ayu likes cats. she has a round, dark brown eyes. her hair is curly and black. her skin is fair and soft. the name Ayu really suits her because she is ayu which means elegant and pretty in english. and woah, when she talks, she speaks in the australian accent. this is the first time i actually hear someone speaks in the australian accent. well of course i heard it in movies and shows on tv but this, she's speaking to me. in australian accent. she understands malay, alright but when we ask her in malay, she'll answer it in english lol. i guessed that's it for today. looking forward to talk to ayu again soon.
I went to the library today and borrowed some books. one of it is the Red Riding Hood by Blakley-Cartwright. it looked interesting so i wanna read it. now a major motion picture from the director of Twilight, Catherine Hardwicke.
| Red Riding Hood-Blakley Cartwright |
ipah
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